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"Stories from my own struggle" – excerpts from Janet Jackson's new book "True You"
February 14th, 2011
06:41 PM ET

"Stories from my own struggle" – excerpts from Janet Jackson's new book "True You"

Piers Morgan's interview with Janet Jackson airs tonight at 9pmET/PT (watch a preview here), and in addition to the revealing sit-down, we have an exclusive excerpt from her book. Check it out below – along with some recipes at the end. Excerpt from TRUE YOU, courtesy of Simon and Schuster.

Breaking Free

In 1977, at age ten, I was cast on the TV sitcom Good Times. My character was Penny, an abused child in desperate need of love. I really didn’t want to do the show. I didn’t want to be away from my family. And being on television only added to my negative feelings about my body.

Before production began, I was told two things: I was fat and needed to slim down, and because I was beginning to develop, I needed to bind my breasts. In both cases the message was devastating—my body was wrong. The message was also clear—to be successful, I had to change the way I looked.

I didn’t even know what it meant to “bind my breasts.” At first I was frightened. Were they talking about some kind of operation? For a girl so young, this was confusing. Naturally, I kept the confusion to myself.

“It means we need to tie down your breasts so you appear flat-chested,” the wardrobe woman explained.

So, each day of shooting, I went through the ordeal of having wide strips of gauze tied across my chest to hide the natural shape of my breasts. It was uncomfortable and humiliating.

I never discussed this with anyone. Never said a word to my parents, sisters, or brothers. I kept it all hidden inside. I didn’t know what to do with my feelings of fear and embarrassment. So I hid them. I was ashamed of them. After all, I was an actress, and my job was to please others—writers, directors, and producers—and to entertain the audience. There was no room for personal confusion.

Had there been a book that addressed issues like body image, I would have read it immediately. Had there been a book that told me I wasn’t alone—that millions of men, women, and children are confused about self-image—I would have been grateful. That kind of book could have made a difference in my life.

I want this book to make a difference.

It’s important that I present myself just as I am. So I must tell you right away that I’m no expert. I have no psychic powers and I sure don’t possess any secret wisdom. I’m just Janet. I have strengths, weaknesses, fears, happiness, sadness. I experience joy and I experience pain. I’m highly emotional. I’m very vulnerable. And, as anyone who knows me well will testify, I’m extremely sensitive. I have lifelong patterns of behavior that have caused me difficulty—patterns tough to break. Like everyone, I have talents, but with those talents have come challenges.

This book is about meeting the challenges that face all of us.

For more than three decades, I’ve struggled with yo-yo dieting. Some of my battles with weight have been very public. But most of them have been internal. Even at my thinnest, when my body was being praised, I wasn’t happy with what I saw in the mirror or how I felt about myself.

I’ve never talked about the origins of my up-and-down struggles until now, but they started at a very young age. I’ve also never discussed the crazy rumors that have swirled around me—that, for example, I’ve had ribs removed and other extreme plastic surgery. It makes me angry to read those lies, but I’ve never bothered to reply.

I’ve never gone into the hard work involved in getting myself—mind and spirit, heart and soul—into shape. I’ve waited for the right time, and have decided that that time is now.

It has taken me most of my adult life to come to terms with who I am. To do that, I had to break free of attitudes that brought me down. I had to set and meet realistic goals. I had to eat better, exercise better, look better, feel better, be better.

But how?

When self-esteem seems like nothing more than a concept you hear about on talk shows, how do you make it real? How do you start feeling good about yourself when feeling bad has been a lifelong pattern? How do you go from feeling unworthy—a condition I know as well as anyone—to feeling useful? How do you make the transition from being unrelentingly self-critical to generously self-accepting?

I want to share with you stories from my own struggles. But I also want to share stories I’ve been privileged to hear—from fans and friends who have dealt with the same issues. I believe these stories will help you.

I’m an optimist. I know we can change. Problems, even the most severe ones, can be solved. We can be happy with who we are. Whether we’re a size two or twenty, whether we’re tall, short, narrow, or wide, we can learn to love those things about ourselves that are truly beautiful—the things that come from within and matter the most.

At the deepest level, we’re all related, and we all can relate. We need to relate to survive the emotional storms that come our way. I hope this book can, in whatever small way, help you weather those storms.

I’ve been writing this book in some form for most of my adult life. The journey to arrive at a place of knowing and loving myself has been long and hard.

I’m not surprised when I’m asked, “How can you—of all people—have self-esteem issues?” But please believe me: my struggles are real.

I’m grateful for success. Success is wonderful. The truth, though, is that being in the spotlight can complicate personal problems even more. You never have a chance to deal with yourself privately and work through issues on your own.

Everything is on display for the world to see. My pattern has been depressingly clear: fear and uncertainty lead to feeling bad about myself. Bad feelings lead to depression, and depression leads to overeating. Food is my escape and my comfort. It started that way at a young age and has remained a constant. When I fall into a funk, I turn to food. At some point I learned to control my eating, especially when I had something to do—for example, a record, concert, or TV appearance. I had the ability to work out, stay on a strict regimen, and make it happen. I stayed disciplined.

In 2006, when I gained weight for a film and blew up to 180 pounds, pictures of me appeared in the tabloids. Only my closest friends knew that I was still running in the sand every day from three to five miles. I was big. I was muscular. I was strong. I wasn’t eating pizza. I was exercising. I was heavier than I wanted to be, but I was not weak. Losing that additional ten or fifteen pounds, though, seemed impossible, in spite of my workouts.

So my heart goes out to people who say they work out but still can’t lose weight—or who eat very little and yet can’t slim down. I know the frustration. I know the sadness.

I also know that sexism enters into the picture: mass and muscle is considered sexy on men. But women are judged by harsher standards; they are often unrealistic and unfair.

When I was diligently trying to lose this excessive weight through exercise, few understood what was happening. Even the editor of this book was stunned to learn that during this period I was vigorously working out.

Because the production company changed the dates, my other commitments forced me to cancel the film. I was deeply disappointed. I was really ready for this role. In one scene my character had to go in the water wearing just her underwear. I was willing to do that. I wanted people to see that I put craft as an actor above glamour and image.

I spent so much time psychologically preparing for this role that when it fell through I looked up and didn’t recognize myself. I wasn’t just plump; I was fat. My stomach got in the way of tying my shoes. My feet and joints ached when I stepped out of bed in the morning. Because none of my clothes fit, I lived in sweats. I stayed in sweats because I refused to buy more clothes; this was not the size I planned on staying at.

I knew it was bad when one day I jumped up onto my kitchen counter to sit, as I would often do, and felt excruciating pain in my side. That simple, ordinary movement was beyond my ability.

I realized that this would be my greatest weight challenge. I had to drop weight, but how?


But discipline wasn’t enough. I said to myself, “You can do this. You’ve done things that are harder than this.”
I started running even more. And what normally worked for me—extreme working out and extreme dieting—just wasn’t cutting it.

That was when I decided to get help. I admitted that I couldn’t do it alone.

I eventually lost the weight. And in the process, I learned many things about myself. I learned that the weight gain and the inability to lose it didn’t involve just a role in a movie. It wasn’t just a one-time event—because honestly, I had been having this battle my entire life.

The journey to self-understanding surpassed my desire to be a certain size or a certain weight.

As I went through this tremendous weight-loss challenge, I thought to myself, Others have had this same struggle. I need to share mine. That has led me to this book.

My goal is to make it easier for anyone—girl, woman, boy, or man—dealing with the things I dealt with.

In 2008, I lost the sixty pounds but gained something far more valuable: a love and appreciation for myself that I will never lose.

My hope and prayer is that my story, and others’ as well, will help you turn your story in a positive and loving direction.

“As Pretty as . . .”

Where do our feelings of being less-than come from?

Why does emotional insecurity seem to follow us from the very start of our lives?

If we’re going to figure that out, it might be helpful to go back to the beginning. The oldest stories are sometimes the most telling.

My earliest memories are of growing up in an enormous English Tudor home in suburban Encino, California, just outside Los Angeles. I was born in Gary, Indiana, but I have only one distinct memory from there: the marriage of my sister Rebbie. I recall much love and warmth from that day. It is after my brothers become famous and we move to California, though, that my memories really kick in.

I was a different kind of kid. The sadness of a gloomy rainy day made me happy. The sound and smell of rain relaxed me. I loved the ping-ping-ping of raindrops against my window. I’d ask Mother if she could take me in her car for a ride in the rain. Later in life, when I had my license, I’d spend hours driving through rainstorms.

I liked the mood of a gray sky. I liked leaning against the window and gazing at the wet world outside. I liked the connection to water. When it came time to choosing bedrooms, I chose the one in the north wing. It faced one of my favorite features of the house, an elaborate fountain that sat at the entrance of the long cobblestone driveway. I loved listening to the water cascading out of the fountain. Falling water eased my mind.

One day when I was six, I awoke early and saw that the rain, which had begun the night before, was still coming down. It was a gentle rain, a rare Southern California summer storm. I ran outside just to feel it on my face. I didn’t mind getting my hair wet in the rain. I liked it. As a little girl, I wore my hair in braids. I only started combing it when I began to perform. Getting my hair soaked in a downpour felt like freedom.

Back inside, I dried off and went to the family library. The books that lined the walls gave the room a stillness that I loved. I also loved the warmth of the room—the heat was turned up high. Heat keeps me calm.

At the end of the library was a huge picture window with a sill large enough to accommodate me. I could stretch out and read on my stomach, or my back, or sit up with my legs crossed. Sometimes I would fall asleep there. Other times I would just stare out at the pouring rain.

On this particular afternoon, I happened to notice a framed picture of my sister Rebbie, taken when she had graduated from high school. Without a doubt, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. At that moment, this thought came to me: When I grow up, will I ever be as pretty as Rebbie? That’s what I was hoping for. I know that I genuinely admired my sister’s beauty, but looking back I can also see that by comparing myself to her, I felt inadequate.

It would have been wonderful to have someone say to me, “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Comparisons are almost always harmful. Comparisons mean there’s a winner and loser—and you’re the one who winds up feeling like a loser.”

This book is about finding the true you and knowing you’re beautiful as you are. Forget the ugly messages of comparison. I remember those comparisons when I was the only black child in an all-white school. Some of the kids did things that weren’t intended to be mean, but they were funky and made me feel less-than. I remember them wanting to touch my hair because it wasn’t straight—it was different.

Just the other day, I thought about comparisons when a friend told me this story:

A mother walked into the bedroom of her five-year-old daughter. The little girl, scissors in hand, was busy snipping all the curls off her very curly hair.

“Baby!” cried the mother. “What are you doing?”

“Getting pretty,” said the little girl. “All the pretty girls in my school have straight hair.”

“You are pretty,” said the mother. “Curls are pretty.”

“But straight hair is prettier. With straight hair, I’ll be more popular and everyone will love me.”

The story broke my heart.

And yet we all have similar stories.

As a little kid, I almost immediately started judging myself against others. That convinced me that something was missing. I felt that I was the wrong size and the wrong shape.

When we are kids, so many of us feel that things are wrong—not wrong with the world, but wrong with us.

We’re not smart. We’re not valuable. We’re not worthy of being loved.

We’re also unable to stop idealizing others and minimizing ourselves.

He’s taller.

She’s thinner.

He’s cooler.

She’s prettier.

How do we break free of that way of thinking? What do we do when those voices—powerful and persistent negative voices—have us believing in everything but ourselves?

The truth of the matter is this:

The true you is curly hair.

The true you is straight hair.

The true you is kinky hair, blond hair, black hair, and every shade in between.

Everyone is different, and beautifully unique.

If we value our uniqueness, we value everything about us. We don’t need to look for a model of perfect beauty when we realize that our own beauty can’t be duplicated.

At age six, though, I didn’t have the slightest clue about my uniqueness. All I knew was that my sister was the most beautiful woman in the world—and I’d never come close to her beauty. By age six, I was already feeling bad about myself.


Whole-Wheat Fruity Breakfast Bars
Loaded with fruits and whole grain, this is great for breakfast on the go.

2 cups organic wheat flour
1 ∏ cups oats, toasted
1 tsp ground cinnamon
π tsp salt
∏ cup butter
∏ cup brown sugar or sweetener
∏ cup honey
2 ripe bananas, mashed
1 apple, peeled, cored, and diced
1 cup blueberries
1 cup dried cranberries
1 tbsp orange zest
1 cup orange juice

Preheat oven to 350°F.
In medium bowl add the flour, toasted oats, cinnamon, and salt. Mix well.
In your stand mixer (or handheld) with paddle attachment, cream the butter and the sugar until they’re fluffy. About 5–8 minutes at medium speed.
In the meantime, in a separate bowl, mash the bananas, with honey, add the rest of the fruit to combine.
Add the flour slowly to the sugar-butter mixture. Mix on low.
Then add the orange juice and zest. Mix briefly, just until everything is incorporated. Gently fold in fruits using spatula.
          Coat a 9×13-inch baking dish with vegetable spray and spread dough evenly. Bake 25–30 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Makes about 12 bars
Great for lunch boxes, too!

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 133g                     Amount Per Serving
Calories 293                             Calories from Fat 78
Daily Value*
Total Fat                                  8.7g                                13%
Saturated Fat                            5.0g                                25%
Trans Fat                                  0.0g
Cholesterol                               20mg                              7%
Sodium                                    109mg                            5%
Total Carbohydrates                 51.6g                              17%
Dietary Fiber                             3.3g                                13%
Sugars                                      24.5g
Protein                                     4.1g
Vitamin A  6%   •   Vitamin C 26%   •   Calcium 2%   •   Iron  9%
* Based on a 2000 calorie diet
Nutrition Grade B

Mini Turkey Vegetable Bites

1 cup whole-wheat bread crumbs
1 tbsp olive oil
∏ cup sweet onion, diced
∏ cup zucchini, diced
∏ cup red pepper, diced
∏ cup sliced fresh mushrooms
1 lb ground turkey
1 large egg
∏ tsp salt
π tsp freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 350°F.
Spray muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray.
Combine all ingredients well and fill muffin cups with meat mixture. Bake 20 to 30 minutes until set and browned on top.
Serve hot or at room temperature.

Makes 12 mini bites

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 119g                     Amount Per Serving
Calories 219                             Calories from Fat 118
Daily Value*
Total Fat                                  13.1g                              20%
Saturated Fat                            3.1g                                16%
Cholesterol                               112mg                            37%
Sodium                                    288mg                            12%
Total Carbohydrates                 2.0g                                1%
Dietary Fiber                             0.5g                                2%
Sugars                                      1.0g
Protein                                     22.2g
Vitamin A 6%    •    Vitamin C 20%   •    Calcium 3%    •   Iron 10%
* Based on a 2000 calorie diet
Nutrition Grade B

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Filed under: News
soundoff (44 Responses)
  1. Petty Officer 2nd Class Lisa Church,Combat Veteran

    This isn't a post for Janet Jackson...
    This is a small post about Miss NeNe
    She is so whack.. with her saying nothing but, "mmmhmmm,mmmhmmm,mmmhmmm"..Get with it NeNe..When shes in a conversation, that's all she says. What are you stoned. She is so full of herself. I iked her until two seasons ago, until she acts like her doodoo doesn't stink.. That's what I have to say.
    Oh also, Mr. Morgan, I am totally in love with you:)

    February 14, 2011 at 9:39 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  2. Petty Officer 2nd Class Lisa Church,Combat Veteran

    Miss NeNe, get off your high horse and do something for someone else, for instance a charity, your community. Stop doing all the talk shows, I only gave you ratings because I am religously watching Mr. Morgan. I am in love with you Mr. Piers..
    So gosh NeNe, you are beautiful and I don't like your personality anymore. Everything you say is for the camera..OK I got that off my chest.
    OK I can say it again..Mr Morgan, I love You:)

    February 14, 2011 at 9:41 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  3. Gina

    Take that british idiot out of cnn

    February 15, 2011 at 3:34 am | Report abuse | Reply
    • cookie33

      @Gina, that is a harsh thing to say. I agree that his show should be eliminated however. CNN may be trying to replace larry King here. I don't think it's working. You guys cannot reproduce history, a legend, an icon. Keep your focus centered on the News. It works for you guys. Really!!!!!!!!

      February 15, 2011 at 3:02 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  4. Terry

    I really don"t know what is going on with the Firth interview....Perhaps Mr. Morgan saw the "inside the actors studio" interview and feels he would come out looking bad beside Mr. Lipton..who really knows how to do a proper interview!!

    Or he just wants to hold his audience by suggesting every few days that the interview will be on. It is a sad way to treat not only the cast of TKS. and Colin Firth but also his viewers.

    February 15, 2011 at 10:03 am | Report abuse | Reply
    • Erika

      🙂 They said on twitter that they're going to be on tomorrow night (finally!) Keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't get bumped again!

      I thought maybe they put it off so Piers could interview more Americans the first month to develop and audience or something? But The King's Speech has done really well at the box office in North America, and Colin Firth is WAY bigger a star than Cheryl Burke and Donnie Deutche, so hopefully his interview does really well tomorrow night.

      Then hopefully they'll have him on again after he wins an Oscar in 2 weeks – what a cutie he is (swoon!) 😉

      February 16, 2011 at 5:47 pm | Report abuse | Reply
      • Erika

        PS Oh sorry, my reply was in response to 'Terry' in the post above mine 🙂

        February 16, 2011 at 5:49 pm | Report abuse |
      • Patricia

        krystlerox1 on October 24, 2011 This laerly does work.. It's called freebie trading.. I'm a freebie trainer.. Send me a message if you have any questions about it

        March 3, 2012 at 12:51 am | Report abuse |
    • Mandy

      perky5 on August 30, 2011 I love that I can be myself wihuott a care. I love about myself that I can be silly in public and not wonder what is that person thinking?

      March 3, 2012 at 1:01 pm | Report abuse | Reply
    • Seo

      deblob25738 on October 20, 2011 The hills have eyes 1 bauecse it would be freaky and the game would be about you killing those monsters or you being the monster and attacking people.t( )

      March 4, 2012 at 10:41 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  5. VegasRage

    Damn! Janet is still fine sweetness!

    February 15, 2011 at 12:04 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  6. Lovin Janet

    Ms. Jackson is still smokin. Always liked her better with a little meat on her bones. She is yummy.

    February 15, 2011 at 12:14 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  7. Nander

    Young Lady,

    All I can say from day one is that I'm thankful that God blessed me with eyes to see you!

    February 15, 2011 at 12:27 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  8. Elise

    Would love to try the recipes, but why is it displaying Pi??

    February 15, 2011 at 12:41 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  9. Benson

    The excerpts are pretty good.

    February 15, 2011 at 12:45 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  10. kathy

    Bravo for Janet for confronting her fears and insecurities head on!
    Unfortunally Superstars pay a big price; because everyone is looking at them under a microscope.
    My hearts still aches for Michael, who paid the ultimate price for fame.

    February 15, 2011 at 1:03 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  11. Theresa

    I will go buy this book in a heartbeat. What an honest retelling of her painful past!

    February 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  12. elizabeth

    Love her. I hope I can look half as good at 44. I'm so excited aobut this interview tonight.

    February 15, 2011 at 1:49 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  13. C+


    February 15, 2011 at 2:21 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  14. Laura

    Love, Love that at 44 she is finding herself! Love that she is sharing hope with her readers! I will buy her book!
    P.S. My heart also still aches for her family and losing Michael!

    February 15, 2011 at 2:51 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  15. Mikey

    Why is she so wordy ? All of these words and no jokes. Nothing about weeeinerz or MJ packing fudge or anything. Truly a waisted book and a dumb interview.

    February 15, 2011 at 2:52 pm | Report abuse | Reply
    • Terrygirl

      A DUMB COMMENT IF YOU ASK ME......EXCERPTS....PAY ATTENTION! I commend Ms. Jackson for opening up. I cannot wait to get the book!

      February 15, 2011 at 7:12 pm | Report abuse | Reply
      • Lucy

        tigerpawable on November 7, 2011 Not to be a troll, but in my PERSONAL oipoinn I think neopets is funner when you don't cheat ever 8 seconds. Its funner earning the Neopoints.

        March 3, 2012 at 12:03 am | Report abuse |
  16. mellony

    If Janet is so sweet why didn't her brother leave the kids to her and not his 80 yr old mother and if she dies Diana Ross ? There is something wrong here, she just likes to act sweet and innocent but I bet she isn't. Just trying to sell a book.

    February 15, 2011 at 9:22 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  17. Maria

    Dear Janet: I'Ve been watching you and your brothers and sister grow, it's stuff being in the spotlight even though sometimes you're not, from one point or another everyone , and I mean everyone has opion for everything. Janet, just do whatever you got to do to get through stuff, Girl, you are beatiful in your own way. Keep the faith, and you'll get through whatever you do.

    February 15, 2011 at 11:26 pm | Report abuse | Reply
    • Ramesh

      hillrose0 on October 24, 2011 @Ooklamonkeynow, you can atalculy get an iPad 2 for Free, simply google for: freeipad2giveaways.infoMy 19 cousin son just received one, and I couldn't beleive my eyes..!

      March 3, 2012 at 2:57 am | Report abuse | Reply
  18. Deelynn

    Ms Jackson I just wiould like to ask this question Why did you turn your back on Jehovah God? instead of being with so many men, why not marry? you do know that fornicators will not enter into the kingdom of God. you are not dumb at all. get your life together while there is still time. who knows maybe you will get to see Michael again!

    February 16, 2011 at 12:17 am | Report abuse | Reply
  19. ROFL

    That's a family of freaks. Stop eating so much lard and you won't get fat.

    February 16, 2011 at 6:21 am | Report abuse | Reply

    Janet. Do not listen to those foois! Do what irom the heart for others are jealous and envy u! GOD knows your heart is pure innocent & kind even with Micheals children! Be their AUNT WITH RESPECT in the FAMILY as MIchael would have wanted U to DO! IT.S URE LIFE. THANKS FOR THE BOOK!! A FAN.

    February 16, 2011 at 7:44 am | Report abuse | Reply
  21. Diane Wilson

    Janet Jackson must be THE most boring person to interview. I eventually played the whole thing at double speed. It was STILL boring. Maybe she can perform on stage but off stage please spare us people who can't express themselves and have the personality of a Barbie doll.

    February 16, 2011 at 9:37 am | Report abuse | Reply
  22. "Alpine Weight Loss Secrets" author Stefan Aschan

    Janet is a role model for many.

    The truth!

    Changing your mind, your body, your habits, even your eating habits, depends on one thing: letting go.


    February 16, 2011 at 4:53 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  23. Rachel Eyube-Porwoll

    Bless you Janet, this is a response to your Interview from Germany. Do you know what? The TRUE LOVE OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO US ALL. He is the only One that can fix you and make You whom He has ordained you to be. He loves You and He wants to perfect every thing that concerns you. WHY DON´T YOU GIVE HIM A TRIAL: YOU WILL NEVER REGRET THIS- GOD RICHLY BLESS YOU:

    February 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm | Report abuse | Reply
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    • Ange

      kelvinc13 on November 3, 2011 Look wfroard to seeing you this year at our Image Style Studio stand, bringing Hollywood to Perth.

      March 4, 2012 at 10:10 pm | Report abuse | Reply
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