On Tuesday, Piers Morgan used his "Only in America" segment to solicit some holiday help, in hopes of unmasking the nation's next commander-in-chief:
"Forget the polls and the pundits, there's only one true barometer for who will be the next President of the United States," said Morgan. "Halloween."
Displaying a pair of likenesses of the incumbent and his challenger, the "Piers Morgan Tonight" host detailed the relevance of the revelry:
"Look at these [Barack] Obama and [Mitt] Romney masks – same slick expressions, same rubbery smiles – pretty close to the real thing, right?" he joked.
"But the reason Mitt Romney may not find it quite as funny as Barack Obama is that his masks are being comfortably out-sold by those of the President – by 60% to 40%."
But why is that important? With the election less than two weeks away, could a political mask really help uncover voter tendencies?
According to Morgan, in recent memory the most-masked man has ultimately become the face seen passing out candy at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue:
"For the last four elections, political mask sales have all pointed to the winner in November."
Backing it up, Morgan reviewed victories by Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Obama himself four years ago, as in each instance the winning politician had out-sold his competition in October, painting a clear picture for this year's eventual winner come November:
"So, there it is – the next President of the United States is going to be Obama again."
However, the Halloween hilarity did not end there, as Morgan revealed a potential third party option:
"Apparently out-selling even Obama and Romney in some parts of America is another potential candidate," he explained.
"Only in America," he then announced, would the leader of the free world rather belly-flop into a mud pit than lounge on the White House lawn:
"Someone with youth, gender and popularity firmly on her side ... Madam President Honey Boo-Boo, a proud nation awaits."
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