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April 17th, 2012
01:17 PM ET

Only In America: Piers Morgan on a matter of life...and death

On Monday, host Piers Morgan used his "Only in America" segment to tell a tale "of two great American deaths."

Comparing a pair of polar opposite lifestyles, the host wondered which path would lead to a later demise.

On one hand, Morgan profiled Doctor Lester Breslow, a man who preached living life by the virtue of seven healthy habits:

"Don't smoke. Drink in moderation. Sleep seven to eight hours a night. Exercise. Eat regular meals. Watch your weight. And eat breakfast."

On the other end of the spectrum, Morgan presented Michael "Flathead" Blanchard, a man with a different perspective, one he recently detailed in his own auto-biographical death notice:

"Weary of reading obituaries noting someone's courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died. So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by his memorial and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend."

But which approach wins out in the end?

"They say the stats don't lie," explained Morgan. "Lester Breslow, who himself didn't drink or smoke, exercised regularly, and practiced moderation in all things, died last week at his home in Los Angeles – aged 97. Michael "Flathead" Blanchard, who never stopped drinking, smoking, and doing everything to excess, also died last week, in Denver, Colorado, aged 67."

Only in America, concludes Morgan: I'm confidently expecting myself to live to.....well, at least 68."
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soundoff (9 Responses)
  1. dsbsky

    Dam I was hoping he was going to die.. Right now... Man has a bigger mouth, than all the checks in the world could cash..
    Something needs to shut him up already. Always acting like he knows something, always proving he doesn't.. Typical British..

    April 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  2. Panthro

    He's like the Joan Rivers of men, always asking questions about stuff don't want to talk about. He belong in the gossip section. Acts and talks like a little biatch!!! You're right, typical British...

    April 18, 2012 at 12:12 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  3. Dr. Einstein

    And the stars in the sky (not those in Hollywood) give us the perfect example to follow. The average, small, run of the mill star that consumes its hydrogen at a modest rate without going super nova can live tens of billions of years while those who burn fast, and ferociously turn their hydrogen into all sorts of heavy metals, explode with fury in just a few hundred million years. Of course, the stars that go super nova produce gold while the long lived stars simply fade away.

    April 18, 2012 at 12:23 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  4. A. A. roberts

    Flathead died at 67, but that was 157 in Breslow years...

    April 18, 2012 at 2:16 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  5. Ben in China

    This just in, Piers Morgan crushed under the weight of his own arrogance, more details coming up.

    Seriously though, CNN get rid of this clown. I work overseas with a lot of UK citizens, and their opinions of Piers Morgan are even lower than mine.

    If his ratings are not good, REPLACE HIM.

    April 19, 2012 at 4:51 am | Report abuse | Reply
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    May 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm | Report abuse | Reply
  7. watch this or die

    Wow, this paragraph is good, my sister is analyzing such things,
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